Chapter 1

My life is like a spiraling wind. Can’t open my eyes but I know I’m going in circles. The sun peeks through the blanket I set up as a window curtain. Just another sign that shows I am still alive to breathe another day. The clock claims it to be 8:33am, but it feels like I am just waking up from what it seemed to be eternal darkness. School. The one word that shot into my mind and automatically killed my mood, whatever the mood was.

It felt like a flash of my life went by and tuned back in when I’m sitting in the driver’s seat of my car. Checked the mirrors and shifted the car into reverse to get out of my driveway and onto the dirt road. The school was big enough to be a mental hospital, maybe it was and my mom and her typical-guy boyfriend were having me committed. Student parking that way douche. That’s what the sign said, all normal except the spray painted douche word. I took in a deep breath and sighed it back out. Following the two lane cement paths to my doom, I could tell that there would be trouble this year. The easy part of the day was done and all I had to do was turn off my parked car and survive the day. I turned off the car and stepped out onto a coffee cup of cigarette ends, feeling my luck lessening each move I make. The hallway was a typical one, lockers on the sides of the wall for quick access for students. Office. The sign pointed right, where another sign saying the same thing pointed at the wall on the right side where a reception window was.

‘Someone didn’t care about using the left side for something important’ I thought sarcastically to myself.
I walked up to the service desk and a sweet old lady voice warmed something inside.

“Yes, how may I help you dear?” she said softly.

“I’m the new student here, Brent Silver” I replied.

“Ah I see, here is your schedule” she said with a smile.

“Thanks” I mumbled.

I grabbed the paper and looked at it as it showed the times of the school day.


8:20am-Warning bell
8:21am-9:26am-Period one
9:26am-9:31am-Class change
9:31am-10:28am-Period two
10:28am-10:38am-Break
10:41am-11:39am-Period three
11:39am-12:19pm-Lunch
12:19pm-1:17pm-Period four
1:22pm-1:52pm-Period five
1:52pm-2:02pm-Break
2:05pm-3:01pm-Period six

Below that schedule was my class schedule.

Period one-English, room 201
Period two-Science, room 304
Period three-Art, room 120
Period four-Math, room 202
Period five-Writing, room 201
Period six-Study Hall, room 104

After looking at the class schedule I could tell they gave me the classes I chose from my previous school, before I had to transfer. The bell rang and there was a flood of students pouring into the hallways. I looked to the hallway clock and realized it was class change, giving me five minutes to get to my next class.

“Here is your late slip” said the office secretary.

“Thanks” I mumbled again.


With the late slip was another piece of paper with my locker number and my combination. I decided to explore that one later. After looking around on each floor for my next class I realized that the floor level was the first number, first floor has a one before each number, the second floor held the two’s before each number, and so on. Since my room number was 304, I would have to go to the third floor. I began reading the door numbers until I came to the right room. Just as I walked through the door the bell rang to signal the beginning of second period. The class room filled up with students quickly. The usual things you would expect to see of students passed by me, laughing girly girls, the cool kids, some nerds, and the normal looking people. I can say one thing and that was the fact that I stood out like a black dot on a fifty-foot white canvas.

“You must be mister Silver” said a man in dorky glasses and a lab coat.

“Yes, that’s I” I said calmly, handing him my late slip.

“You can sit behind miss Roxwell” he pointed to an empty seat behind a dark-haired girl, her eyes glued to a novel.

“Ok” I whispered.

I walked quickly to the seat and sat down before anyone could notice me.

“Miss Roxwell, can you share your text book with mister Silver please?” said the nerdy looking science teacher.

Her head perked up at him and nodded quickly without looking at me. Luckily the class was too loud with everyone talking that no one noticed the teacher talking to me. The second bell rang as if to say you’re late for class if your not in one. With the bell as a cue, the teacher cleared his throat to obtain the classes instant attention, and it worked.

“Welcome students of grade 11 science, for those of who has transferred from some other class or another school, I am your science teacher for this semester. My name is Mr. Page and that will be what you address me as, not dude, man, mister P, or PP” he paused to let the students get out their laughter, and majority of the class did laugh.

“All that I ask of you for this course is to pay attention, do the work I assign you, and to be on” he was cut off by a kid walking in reeking of the smell of pot.

“Time. Glad to see you again Evan. I would give you your old seat from last year but its been taken by someone who may be in my classroom more than you were last year. You can take the one in the back” Mr. Page said quickly.

“I’m cool with that Mr. P” Evan said with a large creepy smile and blood-shot eyes.

The kid shuffled to his seat followed by looks and other students holding their nose.


“Will everyone read chapter one and answer the review questions of the green text books, please” the teacher instructed with a strong voice.

Immediately the students reached in their bags and pulled out the acquired text books. I looked to the girl as she turned around with the text book and placed it on my desk.

“I’m Caroline by the way” she said with a beautiful smile.

“I’m Brent by the way” I replied back to her.

She chuckled and slid her finger to place her straight dark brown hair behind her ear. She had light brown eyes with long eye lashes. She looked like someone you would see at a fashion show. Perfect to the last detail.

“How can you see with your hair in your face” she questioned, breaking my concentration on her.

“I can see just fine” I replied with my eyes looking to the ceiling, not that she could tell.

“Why don’t you get it cut?” she questioned again.

“I don’t want to” I grumbled.

“Ok” was all she said, noticing my irritation with her questions.

I sighed when I saw her sad face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it the way I did” was all I could think of to say, and luckily it worked.

“No im sorry for being an interrogator. I shouldn’t ask so much” she said with a slight smile.

“It’s fine” I replied, making her smile a little more.

Silence was placed in the awkward position between us. I kept looking at her and she kept looking away at the floor, definitely an awkward time.

“I like your hair” I said trying to break the silence.

She smiled at me gently and slightly blushed.

“Thanks, but I’m thinking on dying it with some blonde or light brown streaks” she said looking at her bangs that fell beside her face.

I squinted one eye trying to imagine it to see which choice would be better.

“You better go with light brown” I said with an attempted smile.

I don’t smile. Never have, never will. Sometimes I will attempt it but always come up not all that successful. I have always wondered what I would look like with a smile but I knew it wouldn’t be good since I haven’t smiled since I could remember. I guess it’s not my thing. Maybe you need practice for something like that, like making it part of your personality so people think that your odd smile is natural, a part of you.

“We should get these questions done” she said, breaking my ranting thoughts.

She read the text to me and soon enough we were at the review page. I read the questions in my head an put my answers down in my note book. We were the first to finish reading and answering, so we had some time to talk. She told me how her father is a real estate agent and her mother works as a lawyer and a part time vet nurse. I couldn’t tell her what my mother’s job was, mainly because I don’t even know. I guess it never came up in a conversation. The step-idiot that married my mom is the manager for the company Techparts Incorporated. I don’t know what they make but I found out his job from a business card that was on the table one morning. Oddly enough they don’t have a website, I guess they do business face-to-face.

“So, tell me something about yourself” she said with a smile.

As soon as the words left her mouth, the bell rang.

“Maybe some other time huh?” she said in a muffle while she gathered up her things.

I packed my stuff before her and left the room. I checked the schedule to see what it was time for now. Break time and then my third period class, which was art. I tried looking for someone like me in the cafeteria during break but had no luck.

“I truly am the odd one out around here” I thought to myself.


The bell rang again for third period to begin. Didn’t take me long to find the art room. I walked in to see a beautiful face looking at me from across the room. Caroline was there sitting all by herself. The desks seated four students in groups.

“Why hello there, you must be the new student?” said a kind but strong woman’s voice.

I looked quickly over to see her holding out her hand for a proper introduction.

“My name is Mrs. Hawkins, it is great to meet you” she said in a cheerful voice.

I grabbed her hand and shook it while giving her a slight smile.

“Yeah that’s me” I said quickly.

“Well you will have to be seated with Caroline Roxwell, right over there” she pointed to the table to the far left.

“Ok” I said as I breathed out.

I walked over to the table and sat across from her.

“Hey again” she said with a warming smile.

“Hey” I said back.

She just smiled at me and looked down at her novel.

“What are you reading?” I asked her.

“The House Of Night series, the third book. By P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast, Kristin is P.C.’s daughter” she said perkily.

I just nodded my head to make it seem like I was interested. Reading was never my thing. I’m more of a writer than a reader, but I do read sometimes.

“Excuse me everyone, I believe we have a new student joining our class. Brent Silver would you please stand up and say something about yourself?” she said across the room.


I really wished she hadn’t done that. I also wish her question was an optional one. I drew in a deep breathe and stood up facing the class, my back to Caroline.

“Hi, I’m Brent and I like to write and listen to music?” I said, questioning the teacher whether that was good enough or must I say more.

“Oh, you’re a writer. What do you like to write?” she questioned with her eyes fixed on what I was about to say, as if she was actually interested.

“Factitious novels, short stories, songs” I hesitated for the next thing I was about to say.

“And I- I write poems, sometimes. I guess.” I wanted to turn to ashes and blow away from this spot to where ever I’m not put on the spot.

Some students laughed, those typical tough guy acts. It is as if society proclaimed guy’s writing poetry are sissy’s.

“And there is nothing wrong with that” she said as she glared at the brainless goons.

“Can you make them up on the spot?” she questioned.

“Yeah, I suppose” I said nervously.

I cleared my throat and began making up a poem.

“I am speechless
My body useless
Eyes stopped in sight
Darkness clouds, and you are my light
The words I want to say
Have been lost along the way
You pull on my desire
Wrapping me in barb wire
your too strong
I feel as though we belong
Seeing someone else with you
Breaking my tender heart in two
I can’t help but cry
Not knowing why
It is not like you are mine

Still I see no visible sign
I grow weary by each moment
Every day, hour, second that I have spent
Looking, staring in you direction
Wishing that I would be an exception
To be basked in your love
My angel, from above”

I could hear some guys laughing and some girls sighing in a pleasant way, for them. I was completely embarrassed! I’m am officially the school sissy. I will be the next target for a bully to push around. I might as well jump into a garbage bin myself. With all my worries running in circles a thought came to mind.

“I brought it upon myself” I said beneath my breath.

It was true that I brought it on myself. I could have thought of something more masculine and guy like. When I was stressing all of this at once, another thought came to ease it all.

“One more year, just one more year” I said in a whisper.

“Well I found that quite intriguing, thank you for sharing that” Mrs. Hawkins said abruptly, and I mean that in a more surprising term rather than rude.

I said nothing after that. Quickly sat back into my seat trying not to look at the staring faces.

“Never mind about those jerks. I thought it was really beautiful” Caroline said with a smile that made me more calm. I’m starting to think there’s more to her than a pretty face.

The teacher assigned us to draw an apple that was placed in the center of the table. I kept staring at Caroline while she read her novel. I guess the teacher likes her since Mrs. Hawkins didn’t say anything about it. I know staring at people is creepy for them and all that, but I just couldn’t stop. Something about her was grabbing my attention. She may be beautiful, but I can usually contain myself.

“Get out of my class room Jordan! I will not tolerate that kind of nonsense” Mrs. Hawkins yelled out, diverting my attention to the commotion she was creating.

The kid left with his idiotic friends laughing at what he did. The teacher just glared at the kids and they instantly shut up using coughs as a cover up, and it didn’t work at all. Apparently the kid drew a giant penis coming out of a hole on the side of the apple. I’ll admit that he can draw, but his talents are waisted pleasing his friends humor.

“Fucking idiot” I said in a low voice. Not low enough since Caroline shot her head up to look at me.

I paused my body in that position, I was obviously guilty. Instead of giving me a weird look or a dissatisfied head shake, she laughed. Her laugh was instantly muffled by her hand, trying not to cause any attention to us. I smiled at her and she moved her hand smiling back. The rest of the class time passed by and the bell rang for lunch. I was going to ask Caroline if I could join her for lunch but she disappeared before I could. Lunch went quickly, I sat alone of course. Math was too boring to want to explain to anyone. Writing became my favorite class, naturally. The teacher and I are kinda like buddies now. Caroline wasn’t in those two classes if you were wondering. But she was in my study hall though. The district of the schools decided to give everyone the last class to do homework. For those of who don’t have the time after school or just get occupied by something else.


“Hey” she said as she sat across from me throwing her book bag off her shoulder and onto the floor. Once again she was smiling at me.

I smiled back and replied with a wave. Something was up with her, I could tell. I don’t mean a diabolical plan of an assassination, more like she was upset about something. The way I could tell that was the fact that she instantly lost her warm smile after she looked away. Whatever the issue was, she seemed really upset. Tears started forming at her eyes. She wiped them away quickly and tried to cover that up by itching her eye.

“Something wrong?” I asked softly.

“No” she answered silently, her voice sounded like she couldn’t hold her tears back.

I slid my hand over her hand that was resting on the table. It felt smooth and soft to the touch.

“Wanna ditch this class?” I asked her in a whisper.


She nodded and we got up. I grabbed her book bag for her, and may I note that it was light as hell. Not saying hell is light, just a figure of speech I suppose. We sort of rushed towards the door while kids were still getting situated.

“Where’s the fire?” a deep man voice blocked us from the door.

It was the principle, of course. I met him at my place when I moved here. I moved here on August 18th, two weeks before school. The principle came to my house on the 24th, one week before school. I mean it is one thing to have to move here and leave my best friends, but to have to be reminded of school a week before? I find that torture to the very soul. Exaggerating of course. Something kinda funny happened too, he never introduced himself or said his name.

“She got something in her eye and she can’t see to the bathroom. I’m guiding her there so she can wash out her eyes” I said quickly.

I always was a quick thinker. Most of the time my lies were believable, but sometimes they could be bullshit or called. Ever play that card game, Bullshit? You go up a number by each person. So if I had to lay down a four, the next guy lays a five. No one can see the card you lay down because they are all flipped over. Now if you don’t have the card you need then you can lay down a different card and say it is the right card. If someone doesn’t believe you, they can call you by saying bullshit. If the person is right then the called person takes all the cards from the pile, if not then the caller takes the pile. It’s an ok game, there are different names for it. But that’s what we called it back home.

“Then you better hurry” he said, moving aside for us to pass.

We passed him and walked to the end of the second floor hallway. Before we turned the corner I looked back to see him watching us.

“Idiot” I said under my breath.

We ended up hiding ourselves in a stairway that no one really uses anymore, so Caroline says anyway. It was dark because the lights were always off in that area. I kinda like it dark.

“So what’s up?” I said silently, loud enough for her to hear me though.


“I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with Grace Williams” she cried out in sobs.

I paused for a moment looking at her in confusion.

“I’m sorry but this is my first day here, so I don’t know who that is” I said quickly.

“She’s the head cheerleader” she said in disgust.

“Typical” I said rolling my eyes.

She cried heavier when I said that. I didn’t know what to say. Normally I am good at these sorts of things and can give good advice. But the advice was pretty much said for me in his actions.

“He’s such a boob” I told her while resting my chin on my hand, and my arm was on my knee. Like that stone thinking guy.

She laughed, spitting saliva and snot out. It was gross but I made her laugh. Progress getting to satisfactory. She sniffled and grabbed a napkin from her book bag that I set in front of her when we sat down. After wiping her tears and blowing her nose, she looked at me with a smile. I smiled back, or tried, and then something amazing happened. She moved closer and pushed me to the wall and laid on my chest. Not a hurtful push, more like a guiding push. There I rested myself against the wall with one leg stretched out and the other one bent to the next step down. She laid between my legs, hiding her face in my shirt. All I could think of to do was wrap my arms around her and stroke her hair with my left hand. Here one day and already I am involved into someone’s life, this is kinda nice.

“What are you doing with my girlfriend?” said a voice that made me irritated already.

We looked up to see a dark figure at the top of the stair case. Caroline didn’t move like most people would, she just stayed in my arms. Another dark figure came around the corner behind the boyfriend resting her hand on his back. I could tell that ticked Caroline off.

“What are you doing here with her? Cheating on me again?” she cried out while she got up.


He said nothing. Hell I wouldn’t say anything either, she had power in her voice. Silence had a fifteen seconds of fame when it was broken by Caroline.

“We are over, I can’t date someone who thinks only of himself” she began to cry again, but she managed to hold it back.

“You’re such a-a” Caroline paused to think of a word.

“Boob” I said silently.

“A boob!” she yelled out.

We got up and grabbed our bags and walked down the stairs. She began tearing up a bit but kept it in. We ended up at the first floor looking into the cafeteria. The bell rang and she left my side before the students rushed out of the stair ways. The cafeteria was on the left as soon as you walked in the front doors of the school. Quite beautiful if you think of it. The sun shined through the windows, and you had a good view of the school front. Up the road from the school was the dorms. My mom didn’t want me to go to the dorms. She wanted me to stay at the house instead. The principle assured my safety and all that but it didn’t break her reason to keep me there, whatever her reason was. The good thing is that I have a place at the dorms if I want it, or get permission. I don’t really need it but I stopped arguing with her a long time ago, she is one of them moms who could never stay calm. She annoys me.

The day ended with that. No eggs thrown at my car or a punch in my face. Just a little weirdness and some drama. Mom and the step-idiot weren’t there when I got to the house. I just went up stairs and laid on my bed with the music blaring, thinking of what happened on the stairs. Drifting slowly to sleep.